


the colours you see in december

by sanguinesavant (melancholist)



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), Super Junior, 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: Christmas fic, M/M, Soulmate AU, Timeskips, features two oblivious nerds, please tell me this hasn't been done before, sort of one anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 18:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17105897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholist/pseuds/sanguinesavant
Summary: People are only meant to see colours after they meet their soulmate. This is something Kim Heechul disputes.





	the colours you see in december

 

_An unspecified December night, 2007_

 

There is talk of finding soulmates, chatter concerning how exciting it must be to see the world the way it is meant to be seen and a chorus of enthralled voices translating naive imagination into words. Someone throws out how snow is said to be white, but the first snow seen after gaining coloured sight is still somehow different from the drab black and white reality existing for all of them now.

 

“People like you are so easily taken in, Sungmin! Colours don’t exist - it’s a myth perpetuated by conspirators trying to pretend that they’re happy, pretending that they’ve found the one. What a load of crap. All of you, shut up!” A snarled voice, ringing out. All eyes are on Kim Heechul.

 

The dormitory is silent, as the Super Junior members hold their tongues. The atmosphere is discernibly more awkward, and no one is trying to laugh it off. Siwon’s face is visibly contorting, indicative of how he wants to tell Heechul not to be so cynical but is restraining himself due to Heechul’s seniority. Shindong and Kyuhyun look off to the side, averting eye contact and actively diminishing their presence. Leeteuk’s face momentarily reveals his exasperation, but it disappears as fast as it manifests. None of them want to spend Christmas fighting.

 

For a while the only thing audible is the crinkle of leather as members jostle around awkwardly on the sofa. Then, footsteps are heard as Heechul leaves the common area, eyes sharp and hostile, to sulk in the kitchen.

 

“Wow… that hyung…” Yesung makes a comment, to the chagrin of others. However, the steely atmosphere does not last forever and soon other threads of conversation begin to emerge. Heechul is only left alone for a little while, and when he returns, things seemingly go back to normal.

 

_A languid evening in December, 2016_

 

“Wouldn’t it be more convenient to eat at your place, hyung?” A mellowed-out Heechul is face to face with Min Kyunghoon, his treasured variety junior, at a far-flung and quaint place he knows has little traffic. For a while Heechul does not deign Kyunghoon with a response, instead a little too fixated on Kyunghoon’s hazel hair, his innocent features, bright and beautiful in full colour.

 

He gathers himself before responding.

 

“Ah, there’s nothing at my place. I don’t cook, so there’s no ingredients there. We also might as well eat outside and have a nice meal instead of ordering take-out.” Kyunghoon, ever adorable, nods and looks down at his cold noodles. There’s a bit of companionable silence where they both focus on their food, before it is carefully broken by Heechul, who wants to hear more of Kyunghoon’s voice.

 

“Y’know, my members… A long time ago, they tried to tell me that when you meet your soulmate, you’ll suddenly see colour. It’s really funny cause, that’s not what happened for me, or for a lot of other people.” Kyunghoon nods, listening. Heechul can tell that he has his casual attention.

 

“I just began to see colour gradually. It was almost unnoticeable at first, but red started seeping into cherries, blue began spreading across the sky, green started staking a claim on grasses and the other plants. Previously I bought a lot of clothes labelled red without knowing what it meant, but slowly I started to realise what it looked like. I was happy.”

 

“Heechullie, let me pour you a drink.” Every word of Kyunghoon’s sounds too pure for Heechul, and it takes a while for Heechul to register what Kyunghoon says.

 

“Yeah, thanks. Either way I think my sight finally became completely vibrant in late 2015, around the time when our show started. That’s why I think the theory that seeing your soulmate or whatever causes you to see colour is full of crap. Seeing colour is just a natural thing that comes with age.”

 

The two of them jokingly cross their arms with each other, taking a lover’s shot. Impulsively, Heechul rests his head on Kyunghoon’s. They part after ensuring that they’ve had their fill, forgetting the sound of each others’ breath near their ears.

 

“Actually, hyung, I wouldn’t know if it’s true or not. I’m colourblind. I wear glasses and contacts with, you know, those colour augmenting lenses… to see colours. It’s... pretty cool, and high-tech.”

 

Laughter escapes from Heechul’s parted lips. Kyunghoon’s way of expressing things was just too much to handle. Despite being in his mid-30s, the singer remained so childlike and full of wonder. Then, Heechul returns from his initial euphoria, digesting the revelation.

 

“Ah.. well… I didn’t mean to bring up a sensitive topic for you.” Kyunghoon responds amicably, saying he doesn’t mind at all, and the night moves on. They talk about _Sweet Dream_ and its success, about upcoming collaborations, about the future and games and anything familiar between them. Both of them subconsciously take each other in; learning about the habits practiced by the other without formally registering them, remembering the colours of each other's preferred clothing and how shadows fall on pale skin. At one point Heechul mentions that he was meant to debut in rock band himself, called Four Seasons, and that he was meant to be winter. That’s why, Heechul elaborates, that winter is a meaningful season for him, and that he becomes a bit sentimental when the snow arrives.

 

_Two years later sometime near the present, 2018_

 

“...the sensorial awakening associated with meeting someone has been widely disputed, but recent developments have shed some light on the enigmatic experience. Researchers have found decisive evidence based on experiments and case-studies that confirm that the eye becomes receptive to colour not only upon seeing a specific person, but also when coming into contact with that person or hearing that person’s voice. However, the intensity of the awakening process is identified to be more subdued when the stimulus is not of a visual nature.”

 

Heechul’s back is suddenly ramrod straight as he hears a news reporter relay new findings. He knows he has had reason to doubt the theories surrounding colour. For one, he knew that people who were supposedly “soulmates” often ended up miserable together, for some reason or another. Also, he had had some of the most exhilarating and fun relationships in his youth despite not perceiving colour so deeply back then. While they were certainly short-lived, it did not diminish the enjoyment he sometimes had with his girlfriends. Some fans had also gave him fan letters telling him that they were his apparent soulmate, giving him less reason to believe in soulmates at all. Lastly, if he were to believe that the colour theory was true, he had been inadvertently looking for someone hidden in plain sight.

 

It takes a brief few minutes for him to find his phone and dial for a familiar voice.

 

“Hello? Kyunghoonie, I have something I might have to tell you. It’s important. We can play games and I’ll talk to you about it. You’ll be right over? Okay. I’ll see you in a bit. ”

 

Sweat is accumulating on Heechul’s palms. He feels like he knows nothing for certain, and that his entire world has come crashing down. He begins to doubt himself, looking in the mirror, seeing only what he feels is faded beauty - sad remnants of something lustrous and hoity, deserving of praise. Why hadn’t he realised sooner?

 

If he had started searching earlier, had been more perceptive, he would have ended up as the prettiest man in the world dating the other prettiest man in the world. Two goliaths of the music industry, unstoppable and unrealistically perfect. Two gleaming beacons in the universe. Now he sees gray under his eyes, notices spots in his skin, physical foibles blemishing his once immaculate self. There is a streak of white visible right at his hair’s parting, an unsightly thing. This was so unlike himself, but he couldn’t stop fussing over the wasted time, the lost hours.

 

Too bad he did not have enough time to forget those worries - his doorbell rang. Trembling hands ended up letting Kyunghoon into his home. For a moment, Heechul can only focus on the sensation of cold air being let into his apartment, before he sees Kyunghoon’s own hands, firm and resolute, wrapped around a bouquet not unlike the one in _Sweet Dream_. Something seizes the voice in his throat, preventing him from saying lines he recited in his head. Instead, the man across him breaks the silence.   

 

“Truthfully, I have something to tell you too, Heechul-hyung.” Scarlet tinges Kyunghoon's ears and insecurities disappear.

 

_A cold December morning, 2018_

 

It’s the morning after their mutual confession. They are shirtless and way too comfortable on a bed meant for one. Tangled limbs only seem to fit into each other perfectly because of the fact that their breaths are synchronised. They hear each other as they drift in and out of consciousness. Every time one of them tries to stay awake, they fail because they want to prolong the time spent in each other's arms. Plus, their dreams are filled of sweet recollections of their night before. Snippets of their conversation resurface in the realm of half-awake sleep.

 

_“When I sang with you sometimes my vision would fail me. It was too bright, too overwhelming. I didn’t understand why, but in those times the only thing I could see clearly was you, Kyunghoon.”_

 

_“I am colourblind, but you know, when I first met you, my first thought was that you were what colour was meant for. A lot of the time I felt it was pointless to see anybody else in full colour, but it made sense that it was needed for you.”_

 

_“It’s stupid, right? All those times when my vision got more vibrant after I listened to one of your songs, I just brushed it off as nothing. So foolish, this hyung. Forgive me?”_

 

There are a thousand other things left unsaid between them. With the scent of flowers wafting in the air and the whitest snow gently falling on the outside of the apartment, they both promised to themselves that this would last for as long as they could make it linger.

 

**Author's Note:**

> LOL this is the culmination of delulu hours and me having fun  
> not serious at all, wrote this in one sitting, just hope you guys enjoyed
> 
> also if you read this you are now legally obligated to stream <15> (buzz's latest album) and the missing you MV  
> while you're at it go rewatch falling blossoms and cry lol
> 
> my twitter is @heavncore if u wanna check it out !


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